The Best Place for Fun Logo

 

 

 

 

The Best Place for Fun - Marriage Jokes Page 1.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.  One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.  He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen.  You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."


A husband and wife are getting ready for bed.  The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.

"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman.  My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby."  She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."


Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.


While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

 Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"


A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men.  He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day.

 His wife thought about this for a while.  She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

Her husband looked stunned.  He said "What?"


A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house.  Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.

His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names."

The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."


A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.  When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said, "We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week.  A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home.

She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays."


As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage.  All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."

His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"


There are two times a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a good time at The Best Place for Fun
Click below:
 

Riddles l Laughs l Tests & Quizzes l Puzzles
Jokes l Illusions l Contact Us
HOME

2011 The Best Place for Fun
All Rights Reserved

 

 

visit tracker on tumblr